I am a woman. I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and much more. I am also a student, a teacher, a thinker, a writer and much more.
My heart breaks into a million pieces at the injustices meted out to women in our society. From female feticide to discrimination between sons and daughters, from the ‘trolley-culture’ to jahaiz, from abusive husbands to oppressive in-laws, from economic exploitation to emotional abuse, from ogling eyes to harassing hands, from rape to blackmail- millions of women face small and big battles all the time and come out battered and bruised. It brings tears to my eyes. It keeps me up at night. It makes me think and wonder what we are doing wrong and how do we fix this mess.
I dream of a world where having two X chromosomes is not a crime.
I dream of a world where daughters are given equal love and opportunities as sons to grow as well as obtain their rightful share in inheritance.
I dream of a world where we are not forced to marry against our will.
I dream of a world where we are not paraded in drawing rooms like cattle, and then told: “Iski naak moti hay; iski height choti hay.”
I dream of a world where our parents are not worried about our dowry as soon as we are born.
I dream of a world where we are not stripped of their identities and personalities, and made to conform in the name of discriminatory cultural norms of “hamaray haan tau aisa he hota hay!”
I dream of a world where our husbands are men enough to support and honor us and secure our rights, no matter what.
I dream of a world where we are not forced to carry burdens that are not ours, where we are not the ones perpetually being slaughtered at the altar of compromise and sacrifice.
I dream of a world where the public and private spaces are safe for us. I dream of a world that is safer and better for all women.
In spite of this, I cannot currently identify myself as a feminist in its truest definition as portrayed by the West. I am a Muslim woman. Islam is my primary identity and my pride.
Having closely studied the current feminist trend in Pakistan and elsewhere, I have been sadly disappointed to see that the feminist movement in Muslim countries stands on a very shaky ground. In its present form, it is something that I am not at all comfortable in supporting. I see it as a confused hotch-potch of right and wrong ideas, where you may quote religious texts that support your agenda, but you cannot tolerate any ayat (verse), hadith or religious text that goes against your ideals!
As a Muslim, not just by birth, but also by choice, and also having studied the Qur’an and Hadith in depth, I strongly believe that Islam is the best way – it is the only way to build a perfect society, where everyone can get their due rights. After all, whose guidance could be better for us than Our Creator? Who can understand men and women better than the One who Fashioned and Created them? The society that I idealize was the one set up in Madinah by Rasulullah ﷺ. That was the best ever society in the history of mankind.
I refuse to pick and choose parts of my religion. I refuse to try and make Islam conform to my desires. I refuse to twist the meanings of clear-cut religious texts, if my limited and Western ‘ideals-inspired’ thought process can’t comprehend its wisdom. I refuse to label crystal-clear parts of Islam that don’t conform to the targeted Western feminist agenda, and call it interpretations of “misogynist Mullahs.” I refuse to support lesbian and gay rights. I refuse to support extramarital affairs and sex in the name of consent. I refuse to accept that the hijab is oppression. I refuse to dilute or water down Islam to please myself or anyone else.
I learn in the Qur’an, Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) says:
أَفَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِبَعْضِ الْكِتَابِ وَتَكْفُرُونَ بِبَعْضٍ ۚ فَمَا جَزَاءُ مَن يَفْعَلُ ذَٰلِكَ مِنكُمْ إِلَّا خِزْيٌ فِي الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَيَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ يُرَدُّونَ إِلَىٰ أَشَدِّ الْعَذَابِ ۗ وَمَا اللَّـهُ بِغَافِلٍ عَمَّا تَعْمَلُونَ ﴿٨٥﴾۔
“..So do you believe in part of the Scripture and disbelieve in part? Then what is the recompense for those who do that among you except disgrace in worldly life; and on the Day of Resurrection they will be sent back to the severest of punishment. And Allah is not unaware of what you do.”
(Surah Al-Baqara: 85)
Just as I am vocal about the rights that women have, I am equally vocal about the responsibilities that Islam places upon women. I totally support the gender roles that Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) has defined for us. I refuse to rebel against Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ)’s commands and His Messenger ﷺ. That is why I stick out like a sore thumb in a gathering of the average or typical feminists.
Human ideals and principles of morality are fluid. They have been changing rapidly over the last few decades. Divine guidance is timeless and eternal. A society that is based on the application of Divine Guidance is the only society that will be able to strike a perfect balance. All other societies and movements are knowingly or un-knowingly creating new problems while trying to solve existing ones.
I am not going to list the clichéd examples of how feminist Islam is or how Islam supports the rights of women. I am simply inviting all Muslim women to learn the Qur’an and Hadith themselves, and to accept the Deen in its entirety. Only then will we be able to emerge as strong, learned role models, who are true to their religion and true to themselves. Only then will we be able to reclaim our rightful space in our homes and communities, and help oppressed women in a manner that is pleasing to Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ). Only then will we be able to raise the next generation of stronger and better Muslim men and women.
The first step towards the reformation of our society is to truly enlighten ourselves with the teachings of Islam. We need to submit ourselves to our Creator, rather than to our nafs (our desires) and the popular discourse. We need to realign our thoughts and free our brains from the shackles of un-Islamic ideologies. We need to learn and learn with a deeper understanding. No wonder the first word of the revelation was ‘iqra’ (read). We need to put aside all preconceived notions and prejudices and learn directly and honestly from the pristine sources of Islam. Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) promises:
فَمَن يَكْفُرْ بِالطَّاغُوتِ وَيُؤْمِن بِاللَّـهِ فَقَدِ اسْتَمْسَكَ بِالْعُرْوَةِ الْوُثْقَىٰ لَا انفِصَامَ لَهَا ۗ وَاللَّـهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ ﴿٢٥٦﴾۔
اللَّـهُ وَلِيُّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا يُخْرِجُهُم مِّنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ ۖ وَالَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا أَوْلِيَاؤُهُمُ الطَّاغُوتُ يُخْرِجُونَهُم مِّنَ النُّورِ إِلَى الظُّلُمَاتِ ۗ أُولَـٰئِكَ أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ ۖ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ ﴿٢٥٧﴾۔
“…So whoever disbelieves in taghut (false dieties) and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handhold with no break in it. And Allah is Hearing and Knowing. Allah is the ally of those who believe. He brings them out from darknesses into the light. And those who disbelieve – their allies are taghut. They take them out of the light into darknesses. Those are the companions of the Fire; they will abide eternally therein.”
(Surah Al-Baqara: 256-257)
Let’s try to break free of our taghut. Let’s reflect deeply, and make sincere dua to be able to internalize the message and appreciate its beauty. Let’s be honest with ourselves, if we truly believe in Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) and the Last Day.
The ‘feminist’ narrative in Muslim societies needs to be re-defined, with Islam as its foundation. If we can reach this common ground, I will be among the strongest supporters of feminism. Until then, being a Muslim feminist remains an oxymoron!
