Feminism is an oft discussed topic. Our ideology as Muslim women is enslaved by the projection of the West on how they have defined the concept. The West projects the Muslim women as deprived, dejected and underprivileged being. What do we often hear today? “Oh, poor you, you are so oppressed.” “It must be very hot in the abbaya that you wear; why do you have to wear it?” “There is inequality in Islam?”
Yet, what we fail to realize is that our Deen actually has kept the roles of both men and women in absolute perfection and truth according to what both genders have to offer. The Islamic perspective of women is committed to challenging women’s oppression and binary gender injustice. Surah An-Nissa is an entire chapter in the Qur’an in support of women’s rights. It ensures women get their share in a tough standing man’s world. Surah Ahzab, similarly sets ground rules for women’s hijab to ensure the safety and protective needs of women that has been essential in all times. Several other commands of Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) protect the right of women. So in Islam, we see a complete framework of safety, acknowledgement and preservation of rights along with a complete understanding of physical sensitivity of a woman in the role that has been defined for her.
All of the above is best proven and manifested in the endeavors of our mother, Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) who has shown women today what a role of a woman really ought to be in an entire lifetime. And yes, it is a holistic approach to life and a satisfying one. In the role of a professional, a wife and a mother who has led a complete life and lived to be an example for the Muslim women today.
Background as an Esteemed Businesswoman
Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) was born to a prestigious and wealthy family. Her father, Khuwaylid ibn Asad, was a merchant. After his demise she took over the family’s business and earned distinction within the Quraysh. She was an esteemed businesswoman who traded through the primary commerce centers at that time. Since she would not travel with the caravan herself she hired men to take the merchandise to various areas on her behalf. These agents then would then take trips to Syria and Yemen from Makkah under her prudent instructions and carry out the tasks.
She was a giver by nature. Her fair dealings and piety gained her the name of At Tahira (The Pure One) and Ameerat-Quraysh (“Princess of Quraysh”). She made her own decisions and her decisions were profound. Even before the advent of Islam, she was renowned for distributing riches to the destitute, generously spending on the needy and financially assisting her relatives.
Having gone through tough circumstances of life, she was a widow before her marriage to RasulAllah ﷺ. She was married first to Atiq bin Aidh bin Abdullah and later to Abu Hala bin Al Nabbash; both of her husbands passed away during the earlier years of her life.
She was sent proposals from many honorable men of the Quraysh. Yet, she had rejected them. She heard about RasulAllahﷺ’s integrity and honesty and how he was always fair and honest in all his dealings. He was generous and obliging to his friends and benefactors. Impressed by his personality, Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) asked him to be in charge of her business in the trip to the Syrian region. He was to be assisted by her servant, Maysarah. The trip was successful and there came about profits. Maysarah reported back to Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) with positive feedback on his dealing along with the miraculous way the clouds followed RasulAllah ﷺ.
An insightful woman, she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him because he had brought a lot of khayr to her life. Sending the proposal through her friend Nafeesa Bint Munabbih, RasulAllah ﷺ after his consultation with his Uncle Hamza bin Abdul Mutalib, had accepted the proposal for marriage with Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) because she was known as a decent, chaste and exemplary woman in her family. She was the noble lady of the Quraysh.
She was the first woman RasulAllah ﷺ ever married and he never married another woman during his marriage with her. At the time of their nikah RasulAllah ﷺ was 25 and Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) was 40. Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) passed away when she was 65 and was buried in the Meccan cemetery of Hujoon. RasulAllah ﷺ was 50 at that time. Despite the disparity between their ages, the union proved extremely successful. In fact, it is one of the most significant bonds and remains an ideal relationship in the Islamic history.
An Exemplary Wife – An Ideal Relationship
This journey became the reason for a union that benefitted both RasulAllah ﷺ and Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ). Ordained by Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ), Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) was the best choice for RasulAllah ﷺ. He was to be chosen for Prophethood and he would need the best wife possible who would support the spreading of Islam. She also bore him children.
A good wife for a man is one of the joys of this world. In a hadith we learn:
It was narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِ الدُّنْيَا الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَةُ
“This world is temporary joys, and the best temporary joy of this world is a righteous wife.”
(Sahih Muslim : 1467 & Sunan Ibn Maajah : 1855)
Trust and Understanding
RasulAllah ﷺ was freed of obligations with his marriage to Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ). She entrusted her business to him relieving him of the financial burden. He fulfilled his role in the best manner possible for the household. At the same time, he was led to pondering over the universe in the isolation of Cave Hira and often wondered about how the people of the Quraysh foolishly worshipped idols.
Patience and Sacrifice
This habit of contemplation left RasulAllahﷺ away from his family. Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) is left alone. Yet, she understood her husband’s need to be able to sit in peace and wanting to contemplate. She sacrificed her nearness to him to allow the space for her husband to find what he desires. We see that this element of sacrifice and understanding is a key to her relationship with her husband.
Support and Comfort
The husband and wife are each others’ supporters. The incident of Jibrael (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) bringing the first wahi (revelation), to RasulAllah ﷺ, it left him very disturbed and fearful. He had seen Jibrael (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) who had commanded him to read and kept insisting despite RasulAllah ﷺ ’s response was in decline stating he did not know how to read. Overwhelmed by this strange incident, he rushed home trembling and frightened. He asked to be cloaked and covered up. When Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) heard what had happened, her response was in a gentle and kind manner with extremely supportive words.
“Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) will never bring you any disgrace. You unite blood relations; You bear the burden of the weak; You help the poor and the needy; You entertain the guests; You endure in the path of truthfulness”.
In these sentences, Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) described the personality of RasulAllah ﷺ in a beautiful manner leaving him consoled and peaceful. Her answer reflected unwavering support, faith and love she held for her husband.
Belief and Loyalty
With the revelation, Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ)’s faith in RasulAllah ﷺ and conviction of his truthfulness immediately convinced her of the prophethood. She became one of the first followers of Islam. From then on, his journey into prophethood was a tough and dangerous as he faced the enemies of Islam. She assisted him both morally and financially. She bequeathed all her wealth at her husband’s disposal for the propagation of Islam. He used it effectively for the cause of Islam and remained true to his cause till the end.
Love
What was unprecedented in her relationship with her husband was her profound love for him. This of course was returned back to her by RasulAllah ﷺ in a form of an exemplary husband.
After her death at the age of 65, Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) was fondly remembered by RasulAllah ﷺ. He deeply mourned her death. Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) held a distinctive position among the wives of RasulAllah ﷺ He would reminisce fondly of her and often mention her great stature Once ‘A’ishah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) asked him if she had been the only woman worthy of his love, RasulAllah ﷺ replied in an honest burst of tender emotion,
“She believed in me when the whole world refuted and attested to my veracity when the whole world accused me of falsehood. She offered me compassion and loyalty with her wealth when everyone else had forsaken me.”
(Musnad Ahmad, Vol. 6, p. 117)
The Ultimate Success
A person who is most beloved to Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) is the one who is most successful. We know her status from the following hadith:
Ibn Abbas (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) reported:
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The best of women among the people of Paradise are Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatimah bint Muhammad, Maryam bint ‘Imran, and ‘Asiyah bint Muzahim, the wife of Pharaoh.”
(Source: Musnad Aḥmad 2896)
In another hadith we are told of glad tidings of Jannah being given to Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ): Narrated Abu Huraira (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ):
Jibrael (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) came to the Prophet ﷺ and said,
O Allah’s Apostle! This is Khadijah coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (i.e. Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a Qasab palace in Paradise wherein there will be neither any noise nor any fatigue (trouble).
(Sahih Bukhari : 3821)
Khadijah (رَضِيَ ٱللَّٰهُ عَنْهُ) demonstrated unequivocal faith and support for her husband, RasulAllah ﷺ in the moments when he was alone, helpless and in need of all that could be offered to him. In her role of a wife, she stood firmly by him and sacrificed her vast wealth to promote her husband’s cause which she also firmly believed in. She remained steadfast and practiced immense patience at the face of the oppositions levelled against her family by the adversaries of Islam. At the same time, as a wife she filled her home with peace and provided her husband solace. She was a good mother.
And the most important fact remains, our mother was a true Believer and hence became loved by Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) which marks the truest success of existence. May Allah (عَزَّوَجَلَّ) give us the ability to become true to our Rabb which in return will earn us the pearls of Duniya also. Aameen.
Source: https://www.alhakam.org/hazrat-khadija-r-a/
Seerat AnNabi ﷺ (Dr. Ali Muhammad Sallabi)
“Heroes of Islam,” by Prof. Mahmoud Esmail Sieny
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